Mother Azhagammal Comes to Stay

 *In Ramana Smriti Lokammal recalled:* "Very often we found ourselves caught in the trap of outmoded customs and conventions that discriminated against the less fortunate, especially women and the lower castes. Bhagavan was strict in treating all equally". 

Bhagavan often said, "The Ashram does not see any differences. There are no untouchables here. Those who do not like it may eat elsewhere.

"At Skandasramam there used to be the same trouble with Mother. She would not give food to the man who brought us firewood. She would insist that I eat first, then she would eat and then the woodcutter could have the remnants left outside the Ashram. I would refuse to eat until the man was decently fed.'

"At first, she would not yield and would suffer and weep and fast, but I was adamant too. She then saw that she could not have her way in these matters. What is the difference between man and man? Am I a Brahmin and he a pariah? Is it not correct to see only God in all?"

"We were all astounded" devotees said. "The rebuke went deep into our hearts. We asked Bhagavan to make our minds clear and our hearts pure so that we would sin no more against God in man". 

There were also other ways in which Bhagavan's mother was made to realise that her son was a Divine Incarnation. Once, as she sat before him, he disappeared, and she saw a lingam (column) of pure light instead. Thinking this to mean that he had discarded his human form, she burst into tears, but soon the lingam vanished, and he reappeared as before. 

On another occasion she saw him garlanded and surrounded with serpents like the conventional representations of Siva. She cried out to him: "Send them away! I am frightened of them!" After this she begged him to appear to her henceforth only in his human form. 

The purpose of the visions was to make her begin to realise that the form she knew and loved as her son was as illusory as any other from he might assume. 

A central latent tendency of hers was her strong attachment to Bhagavan as her son. She loved him and expected him to love her equally strongly. This bond she felt, could not be swept away. Yet it needed to be swept away. Whenever she demonstrated her love through any act Bhagavan admonished her. 

On several occasions he pulled her up, upon which she wept. Bhagavan would then say, "Cry and cry more. It does you good. The more you cry the more satisfied I am." 

Mother could not understand why Bhagavan was so harsh towards her. On other occasions he would not give her any reply, but would instead converse with other women, which hurt her. She felt that he slighted her deliberately. 

All that Bhagavan would say was: "All women are my mothers, what is so special about you?" 

Bhagavan's intention of course, was not to be hurtful, but to help his mother in her spiritual growth. He would also try to console her, as here: "You know I always respectfully address even beasts and birds. In the same way, I used to address Mother also with the respectful form of speech. It then occurred to me that I was doing something hurtful. So, I gave up the practice and began familiarly addressing her. If a practice is natural and has become habitual you feel uncomfortable at changing it." 

Azhagammal felt satisfied only if Bhagavan addressed her as 'Mother'. When Mother Azhagammal came to stay for good with Bhagavan in Virupaksha Cave regular cooking had not commenced yet. The inmates shared the food brought to them once a day by people like Echammal, then cleaned up the vessels and retired for the day. 

Mother, who was accustomed to doing household work, could not remain idle for long. Impelled by the nostalgic remembrance of Bhagavan's fondness for twin appalam, she decided to prepare them. She had quietly arranged with Mudaliar Patti and Echammal to keep the necessary ingredients ready.

Mother departed one evening quietly on the pretext of visiting the town. Bhagavan was observing her from under the tree whither she was bound for. After collecting the necessary items from the town, Mother returned and deposited them quietly but safely inside the Virupaksha Cave. 

Bhagavan, as if unaware of anything, sat with his eyes closed. Bhagavan lay down pretending to sleep. Mother leisurely got ready to prepare the appalam. 

However, there were nearly 200 to 300 balls to be rolled out, which single-handedly she would not be able to accomplish. She also knew that Bhagavan was an adept at all such jobs. Hence, she quietly approached Bhagavan requesting him to help her out. 

Thus, the opportunity which he was waiting for arrived. Thinking that such a practice should not be permitted to continue any longer Bhagavan decided to put an end to it at once. 

Looking at her sternly Bhagavan replied: "You have come here, after renouncing everything, haven't you? Why all this? You should rest content with whatever is available. I won't help you. I won't eat them if you prepare them. Make them all for yourself and eat them yourself."

She was silent for a while and again started saying, "What, my dear son, please help me a little. 

Bhagavan said, "I was adamant. She continued to call me again and again. Feeling it was no use arguing any more, I said, 'All right. You make these appalams; I will make another kind', and I started singing this 'Appalam Song'. 

"She used to sing a rice song, soup song and other such songs, all with Vedantic meanings. None seemed to have written an appalam song. So I felt I should compose one. She was very fond of songs. So she felt that she could learn another song. 

"By the time the preparation of the appalams was over, my song also was finished. 'I will eat this appalam (the song about the appalams), and you eat those that you have made,' I told her. 

"All the essence of Vedanta is incorporated in that one song," Bhagavan said later. 

Bhagavan also said: "Though I was remonstrating with my mother, she slowly started cooking, first a vegetable, then soup, and so on. We went to Skandasramam afterwards. She used to wander all over the hill, gather something or other, and say: 'He likes this vegetable and that fruit'. She took no notice of my remonstrations". 

"Once, while she was coming to the jungle at this side, her saree got caught in a thorny bush. It was only then that this path was cleared of all bushes and the like. 

"When Alamelu (Bhagavan's younger sister) built a new house in their village near Manamadurai, she begged mother just to go over there and see the house. She said it was enough if she (mother) just set foot in her house. But she never went. 

"Mother declined because she was afraid that in case she fell ill there, there might not be trains running properly at that time to bring her back here and in that case, she might not die in her son's arms. 

"Mother used to say, 'Even if you were to throw away my dead body in these thorny bushes I do not mind but I must end this life in your arms.'" 

Bhagavan's voice began to falter with emotion as he narrated that.

(The Charitamrutam of Bhagavan Sri Ramana will be continued on 16-11-2025.)

Source:

Arunachala Ramana

Eternal Ocean of Grace